Protocols & Expectations
There seems to be so much confusion for subs on how they should approach me, so here is a guide for you to bookmark. This information will be helpful to both novices and seasoned submissives alike who are new to me and need to be taught my protocol and preferences. What Mistress So-and-so taught you may come in handy, but it’s best to start with a clean slate for how I like to be pleased.
Firstly, my name is Ms. Lydia. Not “Lydia”, not “Mistress”, not “Miss Lydia”, not “Ma'am”, just “Ms. Lydia”. Memorize it now because you’ll be screaming it later. You may call me by another honorific title if and when instructed to do so.
How To Request A Session
Often many subs wonder why their requests for my attention goes ignored. Here is how to increase your chance of getting your foot inside my dungeon door and increase my excitement to meet you.
1). If you are contacting me for the first time, I have made it very easy for you to request a sessions through my SUPPLICATE form. Often when booking a session, it is normal to be nervous or in a state of excitement. My form is designed to slow you down enough to not only help you articulate what you're seeking, but communicate it to me in a way that excites me to see you: concisely and expeditiously.
I ask for all of that information for a very good reason: I use it to speed up the process of your session becoming a reality. There are obvious logistics such as date and time to consider. Appointments are based on a date and time. If you aren't sure of your availability, then it shows that you are not ready to book an appointment. Vague dates or times are considered incomplete supplications and are deleted. My availability page is updated regularly so just keep an eye out there for changes. And besides, you wouldn't be so silly as to waste your time calling a doctor's office to make an appointment if you didn't know the date or time, would you? Booking with your dominatrix is no different. ;-) I know many subs or slaves are excited and want to reach out before they are even sure if they can even make it or not. If this is you, you are free to discuss details or express your excitement through TextLydia.com.
The other information required on my supplication form is to determine if we are compatible or not or if I wish to see you. I see about 95% of those who fill it out. I list all of my interests and if they are also your interests, chances are we will get along just great! It's usually (usually, not always) the requests for the "off menu" activities that are rejected. If I feel that we are not compatible, I will try to steer you to a domme who you are better suited for if I know of any. If you’ve seen a pro domme before, that information is kept strictly confidential. It’s helpful for me to know who you’ve had a good connection with (or who you didn’t have a good connection with). This doesn’t necessarily reflect in the skill level or experience of the domme, but often just an incompatibility of chemistry.
I have put a lot of information about myself on this site, in the videos I've starred in, and on my social media so that you can get to know me. But remember, I haven't been granted this same access to who you are. The more I know about you, our time spent together will be much more enjoyable!
If you have sessioned with me before...
When contacting me, conduct yourself like an educated gentleman. Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Refrain from using “slave speak” (eg: capital Y for You/Your and lowercase “i” when referring to yourself). Butchering the rules of capitalization does nothing to make you look more submissive, make me feel more dominant or makes my panties wet. In fact it does the exact opposite. If your previous Mistress insisted on this protocol or any other protocol that I dislike, remember that you are establishing a new relationship with a new Mistress who has different preferences. What if your new girlfriend kept buying crunchy peanut butter instead of the creamy that you like just because that's what her last boyfriend enjoyed?
Use politely worded euphemisms. Vulgar language in an introductory email, reflect upon you poorly. Remember that I enjoy the company of submissive (gentle) men, not bossy, whiny, demanding “customers” who are incapable of controlling their speech. If you display these types of traits in emails, it gives a hint at what you’ll be like in a session and I will not desire your company.
2). When selecting a date and start time, first check my availability page on my site to make sure that I am in the city you wish to see me in that day. If a date is not shown, it means I am not availabile. You'd be surprised how many silly subs write in the date anyway thinking it overrides my availability! I update that information regularly and make any changes to it right away, so inquiries about availability are be deleted. Asking instead of checking first shows laziness on your part and is not a quality any Mistress seeks in a submissive.
Many of you don’t realize that it’s more important for me to know your exact schedule than it is for you to know my exact schedule. Include the full time range of when you are available, including the earliest time you are available until the latest time you can leave. The reason for asking for your availability is because just like you I often have several engagements going on that I may (or may not) be able to move around in my schedule. Letting me know your full availability increases your chances of securing a session and sometimes, depending upon your fetish, you can benefit from this. Maybe it just so happens, I can see you after a fresh pedicure, gym workout, etc. if you had simply given me your schedule. Or I may have another session going on which can easily be pushed 30 minutes in either direction due to another sub’s flexibility, which I can make happen if you just give me your full range of availability. Of course sometimes you only have a short window. That’s ok too. Let me know and I can try to accommodate that window.
If there is anything pertinent to your session that requires advance preparation such as an additional domme joining in (if I am hosting or traveling with another domme, it's listed on my AVAILABILITY page, outfit request, or wanting to explore a new role play, include that information in your session request. Think everything through before sending the email and make sure it contains everything I need to make the scheduling process easier. Remember: if everything is contained in one email, the more enthusiastic I am to see you. Ask any domme and she will tell you that emails are the least fun part of the job. We just want to get to the fun part! I understand you are excited or maybe even nervous so you may be quick to hit "send" prematurely. Take a moment to slow yourself down and be a thoughtful gentleman. The easier you make it to book a session, the more I want to see you.
When in DC, a 24 hour (or more) is required. Yes, 24 actual hours. Requesting a session at 11:50 PM while I am not checking emails hoping for a 9 AM session the next day doesn't work. If I am able to accomodate a same day session, there is an additional fee. When I am in my home city, I generally do not like same-day sessions as I have a life outside of the dungeon- seeing friends, enjoying some down time, or going to a yoga class (all things I planned thinking I had that day or time frame off). Often subs are trying to squeeze the session in between appointments of their own and there is a lot of uncertainty and rushing which makes booking annoying for me then I'm not in the mood to session. I like to see people when they are 100% sure of their schedules. If you are going to request a same-day session and if I'm available, give a minimum of 4-hours' notice be prepared to deposit immediately. If you would like a session in less than 4 hours, the tribute is 100% higher.
When I am on tour, my mood is much different. I am in that city for the purpose of taking sessions all day. However, it doesn't always mean I can take same-day sessions. I may be able to entertain a same day request if I have seen you before, or if you include all of the information that I need, and are sure to check your email. Often, especially when I’m traveling, subs miss a chance to serve me because they did not check my availability, or sent me a request via email but expected that I would call them back. All sessions are booked via email or TextLydia.com. Note that under no circumstance do I share your phone number nor will I call you without your explicit permission. If you leave a message, you must state, “You may call me back anytime/in the next hour/before 5pm/etc.” Otherwise I will assume that I do not have your permission to reach you by phone.
And most importantly if you are trying to see me same day…
3). Be prepared to pay a deposit. I require a minimum deposit of 50%, sometimes more particularly if you are booking a longer session, a dungeon needs to be rented or you have a history of cancellations. I have a discreet billing method that can be done online. For those of you who require a non-paper trail method, I do accept deposits via Amazon gift card. They can be purchased in most pharmacies, grocery stores or convenience stores. If using an Amazon gift card, add an additional $50 fee per hour fee (which does not go towards your final tribute). Reason being is that cash is what pays for dungeon rent and utilities, BDSM gear, latex outfits, flights to session in other cities, hotels and cab rides, not Amazon gift cards. Chances are, you would not like your income to be paid to you in the form of Amazon gift cards either.
For those of you concerned about sending me a deposit, rest assured that being in the BDSM industry since 2008, I am not interested in marring my professional reputation over such a small amount. Unless your deposit contains several zeros following a 1 or higher (enough for me to retire on), it’s simply not worth risking my reputation over.
A deposit assures me of a couple of things: a). that you are serious about showing up for your session, b). that if you decide not to show up, I am at least partially compensated for my lost time when I could have taken another session.
Still unclear about my Protocols & Expectations?
Ask any questions in your SUPPLICATE form or feel free to text or call me at TextLydia.com. Your phone number remains completely anonymous!
Protocols Part 2: Pre Session Preparation